Barristas Flee!

Posted 17:21 GMT
As the pace of action quickened south of Baghdad and battles raged near the site of old Ur, Mangala glanced to his left, toward Israel, and saw an extraordinary sight: Barristas in the Jewish State's six Starbucks, hurriedly packing cappuccino machines, coffee beans and scones, preparing to shut down operations as a result of war and lagging business. As Mangala watched, he could only think that this, perhaps, was a portent of cataclysm to come--when Starbucks pulls out, surely apocalyptic events will follow. But on further reflection, a portent of what, he was at a loss to say.

He turned his gaze back to the valleys of the Tigris and the Euphrates, which had never known a Starbucks, and whispered softly, "Soon, soon."